Mood:  hug me

someone out there is meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate, the one you can tell your dreams to. he'll smile at you when you tell him, but he'll never laugh at your heart. he'll brush the hair out of your eyes and send you flowers when you least expect it. he'll call you to tell you goodnight before you get into bed or just because he is thinking about you. he'll be bursting to talk to you each morning just to hear the sound of your voice. he'll look into your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and for the first time in your life ... you'll believe it

Joey: -- I said I don't care about that stuff!

Pacey: I want you to care, Joey. I don't want you to just accept it. Because right now, we're not just trapped on a boat, we're trapped in this relationship, and I can't take it anymore. Being with you makes me feel like I'm nothing. I don't do it to myself. You do it to me every day and you don’t even see it. That's why I flinch when you get near me. That's why I can't bring myself to touch you, why the last thing I want is to touch you...

Joey: Are you done?

Pacey: I can keep going if you want.

Joey: No Pacey, you can stop. And then, you can just go to hell.

Well, I should probably just start first, that you, Josephine Potter, have just wrecked me. In the best possible way, you have absolutely wrecked me. Because you see, I fell in love with you, knowing that there was never any possibility of being with you. Knowing full well that a sizeable chunk of your heart would always be wrapped up in our friend, Dawson. And that much was actually okay with me. Right up to the point that you chose me. Cause then you just turned everything on it's head. And I got everything that I wanted, and from that day forward, I've just been a wreck.

Believe me, Pace, sometimes I wish that was the case. But it's not. I can feel it. I know you don't believe in any of this, and that's fine. You're the cynic. I'm the idealist. It's how we work, I guess. But when I feel something this strong pulling me... I have to act on it. It's... the only thing that I know how to do.

The only decision left is the one that I need to make with myself-- to stop running... once and for all. I mean, I know who I'm supposed to be with. I've always known. but then the fear takes over, the free-floating, anxiety-ridden fear in the pit of my stomach that makes me run. Jen, I am completely comfortable running. I really don't know any other way.

I'll wait. You can call me an eternal optimist, but I have faith. This

whole year, I've been on this... Soul-searching journey... And I feel

like I've finally come to the end. And what I found... Was you

See, there this guy... And when I met him, it was like... Like a shade

going up in a dark room and light suddenly pouring in. He understood

me in a way that no one ever did or could. And then, just as suddenly,

the room got dark again

Joey: You never look back, do you?

Pacey: Why would you look back? The future's out there. And whatever

it is, it's gonna be great

Joey: You were wanting to kiss me all night?

Pacey: Yes.

Joey: Even when you were yelling at me.

Pacey: Especially when I was yelling at you.

Joey: So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life?

Pacey: Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there...

like...white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear

war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.

a lot of people walk in and out of my life, but youre one of the only

people i ever really wanted to stick around

It's like you get this picture in your head of the way things should

be, and you end up closing yourself off to some of the wonder and

serendipity of the actual experience

I've known it since the moment you kissed me, and maybe even beforethat, and as scary as it is, i dont want to deny it anymore pacey, i dont want to run from it, and i dont want to let it run from me

Pacey: You're off the hook. I've never really put much faith in all that "if you love someone, set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always-- I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now. Because this is it. I mean, this is all that we get. If there's one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned.

Joey: Pacey, I

Pacey: Actually, um, hold on. I'm not done yet. Because I also want for you to be happy. It's really important for me that you be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man that you haven't even met yet. But I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point to this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook.

Joey: You know, for the record, I-- [Sniffles] I don't want to be let off the hook. Because everything in my life that I've done has led me here... right now, and the last thing I want, need, or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook.

Joey: I love you. You know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it. And I love Dawson. He's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood, and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I might just get the notion that it's ok to keep running.